Gal a mine mi fi wine me she love me off,
She say she a go a town she mi say bring mi Clarks,
She say wah kinda style yu wah,
Me say bring it inna suede, leather every material fi de Boss.

No doubt women play a destructively encouraging roll in the Chi Chi Bad man phenomena. When before the effeminate boy especially in inner-city communities would be ridiculed and at times ostracized for acting/talking like a sissy now he now has a place in the company of older women who enjoy the company of a young Shebada. They cajole and encourage these boys to act more outrageously, they discuss in the presence of these children their adult/sexual relationships and instead of a functioning adult-child relationship the boys are treated as girlfriends and provide comic relief for these older women, providing the punch line for very explicit situations. Eventually they learn to beg, either implicitly by imitating actions of the elder female or explicitly being told to do so. Thus, begins the erosion as without a real male figure to instill such values as real men work, they protect and provide for their families, these boys eventually learn the hard way there is no such thing as a free ride when they beg the wrong men.

For the uninitiated the Dancehall video light is more than just an avenue to »big up« oneself and friends, it is more than just a catalog of a hype party. A video light especially one from a very well known party is a market of the flesh. Long before e-harmony and match.com the video light acted as a community notice board advertising the best and »baddest« a particular subculture had to offer. Dressed in the finest and dancing in very sexually suggestive ways is a means for one not only to cement one’s place in this subculture but also acts as a means for a »big man« to see a hot girl and say »a who da girl deh she bad eeh.« This may eventually lead to him knowing this girl in a more biblical sense. Therefore, one can understand why some players in this culture would bitterly oppose wasted hours of important video time spent on peacocks. Essentially the culture that sprang up of male dancers; they act in an identical manner to the women they »model« and brag and big up friends and their sexual prowess. And in some cases they beg more than any woman ever could. Where the conflict arise is these Chi Chi bad boys some posing as dancers will muscle out women from the video light. In theory these Chi Chi Bad boys compete for the same spoils and have no qualms reminding females that in comparison to what they have to offer a pussy has no value.

– Second post of a 3-part piece by Eve Mann. Orginally posted on her blog The Phoenix in a Gas House. Read »Chi Chi Badman« Pt. 1 here.

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In my view an artist/musician is a person with a deep and full understanding of his/her chosen craft, in this case music. He/she should be trained or at some point expanded academically, be it formal or informally in the subject of music and should be able to write music. This, is vastly different from writing rhymes on paper as that is what poets do. An artist/musician should be able to effectively communicate to any musician around the world regardless of language their specific vision/ideas. Therefore the ability to write music is a must. They should possess a working musical vocabulary. It should be evident that this person loves music and is familiar with not only his/her genre but listens widely and is influenced by other artists. Therefore when the host of Gaza dunce bats (among other new artists) state that their major influence begins and ends in the early 90’s there is much cause for concern. In Jamaica’s short yet vibrant musical history where you can only see Kartel, Bounty Killa as role models then something is gravely wrong. And it is no wonder the pool of crossover artists are so small let alone the ones who positively impact the world now.

It is infinitely sad that in a country so young when many of the actual architect of the music still lives and breathes, it feels like no one seeks advice, and guidance from these walking vestibules of knowledge. They are honestly not that hard to find. They still go to the same studios as the newer supposed replacements. They own bars and restaurants that bear their names or the names of the songs that made them famous. However, instead of respect there is contempt and the superficial “big up de elda dem!” Any opportunity they get while they trample and poison any foundation and scaffolding built by them. As Charles de Gaulle said:

There can be no prestige without mystery, for familiarity breeds contempt.

And there is much contempt to go around. Right now if you close your eyes and listen to what is pass off as popular music one would be surprised that this is the same place that gave birth to the likes of Don Drummond, Sly and Robbie, Jimmy Cliff, Toots Hibbert and Dean Fraser.

What is even harder to believe is that the same institutions such as the Alpha Boys Home, church, school choirs and marching bands are still available. Added to this is the wonderful invention called the internet and better access to books of which the predecessors didn’t have. All these options and more are available to this crop of so called budding talent. However one gets the feeling that instead of doing the obvious and putting in the work needed to be “great”, forget that good or even just a little above average musicians, instead do a Milli Vanilli and concentrate on everything except the music especially the image and the money.

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Therefore it would be irresponsible for anyone to pretend that the present miasma of bad news that hovers so thick over the landscape on the verge of suffocating the economic livelihood of those directly and indirectly involved in the industry has nothing to do with the actions of its actors.

For instance Ricky Trooper should be happy that the only visa that got revoked was the one from America. For some reason Jamaicans seem to think that a U. S. visa is a right. We forget that the only country obligated to put up with our nasty behavior no matter what is the one we spit on constantly i.e. Jamaica. Everyday the world gets smaller and markets more competitive. Therefore no matter how drunk Trooper was, waving a gun and demonstrating how bad the affliction of verbal diarrhea affects him on camera would be the definition of career suicide. Recently Trooper was On Stage with Winford Williams saying that’s just another gimmick and the gun was fake or not loaded, whatever. Stating him good wid everybody and everybody good wid him.

Jamaica is the ultimate contradiction. Seriously, look up contradiction in the dictionary and well maybe you wont exactly see a picture of us or a map of Jamaica but it would be a spot on description of how Jamaicans carry-on in almost all aspects of life. For example the image of white sand beaches friendly happy helpful natives in the ultimate island paradise. Jamaica? No problem mon! The Tourist Board sells that image and the tourists eat it up like fat girls at Portland Jerk Festival. But then for those who live here it feels like the murder capital of the universe and any others that may be parallel to us. We kill without explanation like life is a game and you can restart at your last save point, like we are in a civil war, but we are not. And sadly we seem to have become numb to death and injustice.

Now there is another association, a new one that, if left unchecked will destroy an already weakening foundation. The budding idea that the only thing left in Jamaica is homophobic illiterates that at best produce disposable music with the lifespan of a housefly or at worst murder music is taking root. We can hide behind the premise of Art imitating life for so long and no more. We can hide behind the premise of that is what the people want to hear for so long and no more.

We have to be delusional to think that if we saturate the market with the same songs done the same way on recycled riddims that eventually everyone will not simply get sick of hearing them. For example think of any two recent riddims. I’ll now do a magic trick and name all the songs on the riddims you thought of. Here goes:

1. People badmind.

2. Gal yuh baddy good and yuh can keep yuh man wid yuh good hole and yuh man mine yuh because yuh hole good.

3. Dash out yuh hole……………

4. Lies about oral sex, sex in general.

5. Mi have more money than that nigga and mi can floss and hype more than them too.

6. Mi want money.

7. Some stupid song that passes off as a dance anthem when in fact there is no ‘dance’ just an excuse for a group of long seed man to bleach their faces wear tight pants pink close fitting shirts jump on each other’s ass and pretend that they are not latent homos.

8. Mi have the most gal, I know nothing of sex, love or how to treat a good woman right but mi a galis.

9. And if a rasta man is there mi love jah and jah love me, Selassie I.

There I just named all the local songs that ever made it to radio and in the dance. Give or take a very very few exceptions.

Clearly drastic changes need to be made as unfortunately for us, our music has as much worldwide appeal as a used tampon. Further more it will not be fixed with the projection of domestic violence, sad attempts at a porn career and constant infighting for what is perceived as scarce benefits by the narrow minded. It cannot be that the doors slammed shut after Shaggy and Sean Paul. It cannot be that it is their phennotypical features that attributes to their success. It cannot only be parental legacies why the Marley’s constantly sell out venues and win international awards.

The music is more potent than the weed we… they smoke and the blood sweat and determination of our predecessors for it to be classified as garbage instead of doing what it is suppose to which is positively affecting the world. So called artists and producers need to get off their lazy asses and make something of value every once in a while. Stop claiming that the business was destroyed over night and you had nothing to do with it.

But what do I know? And no one who should will read this anyway.

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Tim Turbo Thursday is a weekly DJ mix podcast hosted and curated by Tim Turbo. He selects and performs and invites handpicked guests on a regular basis. TTT is limited to 50 issues.

High Five Dog Pound!

Folks, I’m so not the autumn kind of guy. When dawn touches the streets early and temperatures goes dung low like a hooker, I’m always getting sentimental and moody. Thats why today’s mix starts with a La Roux remix and smooth bubbling Funky House from Julio Bashmore. But I braced myself in the moment Wildlife sent me over his brand new tune (coming soon, with Remixes by Mixhell, Beware & Motorpitch, Schlachthofbronx & Edu K) to play it exclusively for you. On top, I got another exclusive tune of Man Recording’s KU BO Remix EP for you, plus a lot of crossgenresque beats, rhythms and melodies prepared to blow your horizon as always.

Zip up the gang jackets and the take a walk on the autumn side with this mix in your iPod. Gang sign!

Tim Turbo Thursday 48/50

Download audio file (tim_turbo_thursday-48.mp3)

Download Tim Turbo Thursday 48/50

01 La Roux – I’m Not Your Toy (Jack Beats Remix)
02 Julio Bashmore – Around
03 Julio Bashmore – Bad Apple
04 Wildlife – Jumbie
05 Magic System Ft Mokobé – Bouger Bouger
06 B. Rich Ft Whiskey Pete – Ain’t Here To Party
07 Fedde Le Grand & Ida Corr – Let Me Think About It
08 KU BO Ft Joyce Muniz – Mela (Lazy Ants Remix)
09 L-Vis 1990 – Flux
10 Top Billin – Playboy Anthem
11 Def Inc – Walking the Dread (Dyna Dirty House Baltimore Bootleg)
12 Housemeister – Rambo

Notes: Check out all the previous issues. Join the TTT group over here at Facebook. Subscribe to the podcast feed via RSS, subscribe via iTunes as an alternative and hit the subscribtion form for our newsletter. Book me by writing some real talk to: book.tim.turbo[at]seen-site[dot]com or check out my page in the Pink-Pong artist collective.

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Whats up lazer kids?

Two weeks ago, I had the pleasure to meet Diplo in Berlin on his little media promo tour thingy for the upcoming Major Lazer album. Instead of doing a normal Q&A, we listened to some music together and talked about it. I picked a few songs beforehand, which – in my eyes and ears – document the ongoing dialogue between Jamaican, American and European styles.

It’s Diplo versus the beats. It’s Tim Turbo trying to find the mind behind Major Lazer and it’s hopefully for your reading pleasure!

Tune: Papa San – Dancehall Good To We (Telephone Love Riddim)

Download audio file (01-Dancehall-Good-To-We-12_-Mix.mp3)

Diplo: „Telephone Love“! I love those drums! That´s what we tried to do with Major Lazer, too: Keeping it oldschool Dancehall on the beat and having arrangements or vocals suitable for the U.S. on the same time. You still got lots of that crossover stuff in Jamaica, like the southern Hip Hop stuff. One of the big riddims in Jamaica right now is the „Collie Monster Riddim“, wich is like just straight up southern Hip Hop. Snappy stuff!

Tune: Mad Cobra – Any Gun (Indian Summer Riddim)

Download audio file (02-Mad_Cobra_-_Any_Gun.mp3)

Diplo: I know this riddim, it’s older, like two years ago?
Tim Turbo: „Indian Summer Riddim“, actually from 2005. I picked it, because in some interview you said, it’s the first riddim you know, that is so close to a European music style, in this case Grime.
Diplo: Yeah, it’s done by a bunch of Japanese kids. They’re really on that style over there, I don’t even like that fast stuff anymore. But all the dancers love this style.

Tim Turbo: What do you think about the dialog between European and Jamaican styles? Like the Grime influences in this case?
Diplo: I think Dubstep will really influence Jamaica soon. I mean, there was always a communication between England and Jamaica. But with Major Lazer we tried to go back to the classic sound, like the „Mad Thing Riddim“, wich is out right now, mid tempo stuff.

Tim Turbo: I think this riddim was not really appreciated in JA, do you think your stuff will be?
Diplo: Mmhh, we’ll start our tour in Jamaica at Quad, Kingstons finest club. We’ll see!
Tim Turbo: With all the artists on stage? Major Lazer Sting?
Diplo: We’ll maybe have some people that I like on stage. But if you play in the big clubs in Kingston, like Asylum or Quad you have to play like 90% dubplates. If you don’t play dubplates you get booed off stage. So this will be very expensive. We gonna spend like 3000$ to have the dubs just to play. That´s how they make the money down there. We don’t have such a big dubplate culture in America like in Europe. We got some main-DJs and they get the dubplates for free, in England maybe as well and Japan it´s more like a money thing.
Tim Turbo: They really have some money over there!
Diplo: Yeah, they keep the culture alive. But Germany, too, man. Japan and Germany still got the biggest Reggae scenes.

Tim Turbo: You got many different artists contributing vocals on the album: Santigold, Vybz Kartel, Ward 21, Busy Signal, Amanda Blank, Mr. Vegas, Turbulence, Jah Dan, Dr. Evil, T.O.K, Ricky Blaze or Prince Zimboo, just to name a few. Did you plan all these features or was it like: „Hey, you are in the yard, we record you!“?
Diplo: We had like a wishlist, but there is a couple of artists that we just could not get, like Tanya Stephens and Mavado. Two people we just could not get, no matter what. Mavado just did this song with Jay-z and was really expensive.
Tim Turbo: This „On The Rock“ remix tune?
Diplo: Yeah, it was not even a big song in my eyes. It was on Hot97 for what? Like a week? But it´s one of the biggest things for a Jamaican artist to be on Hot97. So we could not afford him, even though he would have been perfect for the album. I like how he sings. Like a 80s white persons voice, like Bryan Adams or something like that. He got this new song out. „Neva Believe You“. Great song.

Tim Turbo: (laughs) You are right, great song. That’s why I wanted to listen to it with you anyway as the next song, but in a remix version.

Tune: Mavado – Neva Believe U (Tim Turbo Afterhour Mix)

Download audio file (09-Movado-Neva-Believe-U-Tim-Turbo-Afterhour-Mix-HQ.mp3)

Diplo: Atmospheric. (Listens, then the vocals start) I love his „Wohooo“. If you would take a little bit of the patois off then it sounds like a cheesy 80s popsong. He’s just great.

Tune: Ward 21 – Dubby Man

Download audio file (04-WARD-21-Dubby-Man.mp3)

Diplo: Ahhh, Ward 21! They are my favourite Dancehall producers. We did a Baile Funk track with them for the album, but it did’nt make it. (Keeps listening) Is that one new? You gotta send me this. Is the whole riddim like this? That´s what i talked about before! I love this dialog between the cultures. It’s nearly Dubstep. Some more vocals would have been nice.

Tim Turbo: You recorded all of the stuff for the album in just 7-10 days, right? How does that work out in Kingston? Did you have a schedule or was it like: let´s bring our cell phones, some instrumentals and a bag of money and leave the rest up to coincidents, improvisation and already existing on-the-ground links?
Diplo: Basically, we’ve been in the studio and some people just showed up. Some recordings we didn’t even use. Like Macka Diamond, another Vybz Kartel and Spice. We didn’t have enough beats. We recorded like 7 vocals in 10 days, I had already recorded 5 vocals on previous Jamaica sessions and some of the artists we recorded in America: Ricky Blaze, another Kartel, Mr Vegas and Jovi Rockwell.

Tim Turbo: What´s your favourite combination on the album?
Diplo: Having Jovi Rockwell and Mr Vegas together was awesome. They just had a great charisma and she is really brilliant. Also Future Troubles on top of a Black Flag punkrock plus Dancehall beat is really cool. Next song!

Tim Turbo: Now we got the other side speaking in the culture diaolg: European House music influenced by Dancehall vocals.

Tune: Jamtech Foundation vs. Yellowman – Tell It To Dem

Download audio file (06-jamtech-foundation-vs.-yellowman-tell-it-to-dem.mp3)

Diplo: Oh, they play a lot of House now in Jamaica, too. There was always a small House scene. (Listens) Yellowman! And it’s a new recorded vocal, nice. He sounds like that today, a little tired and old. Where is that song from?
Tim Turbo: Stockholm, Sweden. They go by the name of Jamtech Foundation.
Diplo: We could have done that for Major Lazer, too, you know, but we decided to do it straight Dancehall and let somebody from a blog or something like that do the House remixes. Everybody does the remixing now. So why not let them do it?

Tune: Modeselektor – Weed Wid da Macka (Modeselektor Mix)

Download audio file (07-Modeselektor-Weed-Wid-da-Macka-Modeselektor-Mix.mp3)

Diplo: Who´s this on the vocal?
Tim Turbo: Ninja Man. The tune is by Modeselektor from Berlin, Germany.
Diplo: Ah, I like these guys. Really cool. But they don’t do stuff like this anymore, right? Now they doing more housy, faster stuff.
Tim Turbo: Yeah, more Techno Electro stuff like it is all over Berlin.
Diplo: But Berlin has a real dynamic scene! You got stuff like this and you got some Dubstep people, but it is still Techno city, ain’t it?
Tim Turbo: It is.
Diplo: And this Boyz Noise Electro House sound, I like that, too. They did like a Dubstep remix for Black Eyed Peas’ „Boom Boom Pow“ recently. Big tune!

Tune: Schlachthofbronx – Good To Go

Download audio file (10-Goodtogo.mp3)

Diplo: Who´s that? I heard this style of producing before.
Tim Turbo: Schlachthofbronx from Munich, Germany
Diplo: Yeah, right, know that name. Do you have more of them, sounds a little bit like Radioclit? They also did this really cool Kuduroish remix of Timberlee’s „Gunny Gunny“. We posted it on the Mad Decent blog. Cool stuff. You gotta give me that, too.

Major Lazer – Hold The Line (Tim Turbo’s 20 Riddims MegaMashup4000)

Download audio file (Major-Lazer-Hold-The-Line-Tim-Tubos-20Riddims-MegaMashup4000-HQ.mp3)

Diplo: (Smirks) I know that tune somehow. Oh, the freakin „Taxi Riddim“. And another riddim, but I don’t know the name. And another one. How many are on there?
Tim Turbo: 20. I did it.
Diplo: You gotta give me that one, too. Good remix. It’s different from all the House remixes some other guys did. I like that. It takes it back where it came from, or something like that.

Tim Turbo: Thats the intention. I got no more songs to play. But I got one more question on your upcoming documentary „Favela on Blast“: What about doing a similar movie project in Jamaica?
Diplo: Mmh, people have done documentaries about Jamaica before. „Favela On Blast“ was important, because nobody had done that before. But it would be cool doing something in Jamaica. Maybe something like „One Day Inna Life“: Looking at someone´s life and what it is like to do that Dancehall stuff in Jamaica. Maybe a dancer or following a dance crew. Actually a good idea. And it´s more accessible, too, in Jamaica to do something like that. Brazil is really hardcore, I mean Kingston is hardcore, too. We’ll see.

Tim Turbo: Thanks for the listening session. I hope you enjoyed yourself.
Diplo: Definitly. Thank you, too.

Notice: Major Lazer‘s album “Guns Don’t Kill People… Lazers Do” is in stores on 16th of June 2009. Prelazer it here. Watch them lazer down your town on the album release tour, wear the best T-shirt of the year so far (watch out for the new seen. stuff) and listen to the whole album on their MySpace.

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As a reader of this blog, you´re probably very familiar with Eddie Stats´ “Ghetto Palms” column on the Fader website. This weeks´ “Dancehall and the Ghetto Archipelago” features an exclusive Tim Turbo blend with the following tunes:

Lexie Lee, “We Don’t Play”
Lexie Lee f. Jahcoozi, “Freeze”
Douster, “Schlaggada” (Swaggada Edit)
Terry Lynn, “Kingstonlogic” (Greenmoney Bruk Logic Remix)
Terry Lynn, “Kingstonlogic” (Greenmoney House Logic Remix)
Sorie Kondi, “Without Money, No Family” (Chief Boima Remix)
Daniel Haaksman, “Pombu Coco”
Douster, “Triassic Genesis”
Douster, “Ladinian”
Schlachthofbronx f. Slush Puppy Kids, “Too High”

Make sure to jump over and grab that one.

Note: the picture used for the column comes from a seen. team member as well – our man Gabe provided one of his shots. That´s what you call family business!

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